Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone

“Do something uncomfortable today by stepping out of your box. You don’t have to settle for what you are–you get to create who you want to become.”

I know it’s hard to believe, but I took the same beginner’s ski lesson for twenty years. I hated skiing and was fearful of falling, but I felt my now ex-husband would love me more if only I could ski. Foolish me! Mount Snow, Stowe, Okemo, Bosquet, even Steamboat Springs, Colorado. Me in the beginner class on the bunny slope, never advancing. Me, not eating meals or sleeping well, too nervous for the next morning’s ski lesson. What a relief when I gave my skis, boots and poles to my friend Elayne and allowed myself the opportunity to relax in the ski lodge, read a book, and drink hot cocoa. Oh, the mistakes I made when I was younger. Never again will I do something I hate to please a man!

Why does this come to mind and why now? Well, I want to start something new– yoga, for me, for my health, to improve my strength, balance and flexibility. I have been putting it off for awhile. What is stopping me?

Researching this topic, I found an article on point that resonated with me and addressed many of my concerns.

1. Fear of failure: Flashback to ski lessons (Penny falling off the chairlift and not being able to get up on skis to move out of the way and not get hit by the oncoming chair)! With yoga, I am fearful that I am not flexible enough or strong enough. As an advanced yoga practitioner, my daughter Jamie reminds me, that is just the reason why I need to do it! She asked me not flexible or strong compared to whom? I think of yoga as involving a progression from simple to more complex positions and success would be moving through each move. I am now learning that it is not like martial arts where your success is measured by how you progress through the belt colors. “It is a personal journey and the only important questions is what does my body, mind and soul need today”. There is no such thing as failing at yoga. Phew, that’s a relief! I can let go of that fear.

2. Fear of embarrassment: This is supposedly the most direct fear most women over sixty suffer from when it comes to gentle yoga. Women of all ages suffer from a lack of confidence regarding their bodies. Older women have the added fear of looking out of place in a room full of twenty or thirty somethings. Margaret Manning, in her article, suggests that the only way to deal with this fear is to gain confidence by exposure. She suggests her Gentle Yoga Videos to build confidence before you join a large class. She adds that eventually you will realize that everyone in the class is too busy worrying about what they are doing to pay attention to you.

3. Fear of our own emotions: At this age, we have become good at hiding certain emotions from the world–frustration, sadness, anxiety. Yoga can bring these emotions to the surface, according to the articles. As you hold a difficult pose, involving some pain or discomfort, you may feel frustrated, sad or even angry. We can embrace these natural emotions rather than hiding them.

4. Fear of pain or discomfort: These are exactly the reasons to start yoga as an older adult. Pain is only information that is telling you how far you can go in each position and where you need to focus your practice.

5. Fear of the unknown: Someone said that yoga is as deep as the ocean and means many different things. Fear of the unknown can be a catalyst for change or can chain you to the past. I am comfortable and confident when doing Zumba, because I love to dance, but need to step out of my comfort zone to try something new.

Exercise physiologists confirm that yoga meets most of the physical activity guidelines for older adults. It improves strength, flexibility and balance which is another big concern for us as older adults. ( I already have two falls with broken wrists at two different times, and do not want to go through any more).

Yoga practice can reduce hypertension and provide mental benefits as well–reduced stress and anxiety, enhanced mood and a sense of well being. Another advantage is the community that forms around it.

I realize now that everyone has unique challenges and opportunities. Yoga is about doing what you can. There is no finish line. Everyone is an individual. Because of my wrist issues, I have problems getting up to a standing position from the floor without a chair or piece of furniture. I plan to start with chair yoga to build confidence, build strength and hopefully more mobility and then proceed from there. I promise to keep you posted on my yoga journey. I’m off to start the Chair Yoga Video. XO Penny

Resources

The Ultimate Gentle Yoga Program for Older Adults 3 in 1 bundle $46.00 DVD/Online streaming 10 hours contains Chair Yoga, Gentle Yoga and Yoga Flows Go to sixtyandmeshop.com (This is what I purchased–I do not receive any compensation for plugging this)

Yoga For Seniors, The Complete Guide vivehealth.com

Five Fears That Stop Older Adults From Trying Gentle Yoga, Margaret Manning sixtyandme.com

Reflections on Motherhood

“Motherhood is a choice you make everyday to put someone else’s happiness ahead of your own, to teach the hard lessons, to do the right thing even when you are not sure what the right thing is and to forgive yourself over and over again for doing everything wrong.”

Dear Jamie and Keith,

I am thinking about Mother’s Day differently this year. Instead of wanting to be appreciated for being a good mom, I feel totally appreciative to have had the opportunity to be your mom. Maybe the change came about because of the uncertain and scary times we are going through, or maybe it is my age, or maybe just because……

I love a thoughtful gift, or when you send me flowers, or wash my car, or make me a special dinner. But I love being your mother most of all.

I can’t think of anything else in my life that compares to the joy I have felt as your mom. The job is a labor of love and has grown and shaped me in ways I never could have imagined. Being a mother to you two has taught me strengths I didn’t know I had and how to deal with fears I didn’t know existed.

Like most moms, I gave my all to mothering, even though I felt unprepared and clueless. I did promise myself early on not to repeat two things that my mother had done, and I hope I was successful in carrying out this promise.

I vowed to always apologize to you when I was wrong or made a mistake. My mother never ever said she was sorry to my sister and I when we were growing up, and this left a huge impact on us both. (She finally did apologize at age 92 for giving away our beloved bulldog puppy when we were 7).

In addition, I promised to be a good communicator and never stop talking to you, even when angry. My mother was notorious for slamming drawers and cabinets (so that you knew she was upset about something) for weeks on end and refused to tell you why. You got the silent treatment e.g. no conversation, which was extremely anxiety producing, to say the least.

In fact, I cherish the open communication we have as you have both grown into good, kind, ethical responsible adults. I see the open, loving communication, Jamie that you have with Jesse, which makes me proud and happy. You are a wonderful mother.

Being a mother brings you strength, resolve and resiliency, all especially needed in a world such as the one we face today. It has taught me the power of prayer and positivity. I never stopped praying and believing that you Jamie and your family would return from California to live in New York (even after 15 years). I never stopped praying and believing that you Keith would return to good health after your ordeal and both my prayers were answered.

Today, on Mother’s Day, I thank you for the tremendous gift and honor of being your mother. I cherish my relationship with both of you and could not imagine a life without you in it!

Love,

Mom

Happy Mother’s Day to all!