Month: October 2020

I suffered with not so great skin as a teenager (thanks Dad)! I had pimples and oily skin on my face and back. My mom schlepped me from dermatologist to dermatologist, each having a different remedy. Use salicylic acid; use a sun lamp; take antibiotics; watch your diet e.g. no chocolate or shell fish (iodine); eat all the damn shrimp you want. So confusing! Of course my twin sister Jill had perfect skin–Jill took after my mom. To make me feel better, my mother would often say “Don’t worry. You will be happy when you get older. Your sister will age first”. Little consolation when you are in high school!

Perhaps that is why I am skin care obsessed and have been all my adult life. Don’t you know of people who have psychological scars as children who go on to become psychologists and psychiatrists? Just a theory.

My friends always ask me, “How do I know which products to choose for my skin when there are thousands of products out there”? The important first step is to determine your true skin type. I found an interesting article that streamlines how to identify it and wanted to share it with my readers.

How do we determine your skin type? There are two important factors that go into how our skin looks and having healthy skin: Genetics and environment.

Your genetic skin type which doesn’t change, (again, thanks Dad), and environmental influences like your diet, stress, sun and age. Because your skin can’t tell you what it needs; it can mean dryness, breakouts, redness, or a combination, turning your skin care routine into a guessing game. That is why knowing your skin type is important, because it provides a blueprint to habits and products that will work best for you.

Many people misdiagnose their skin type. It is common to think you have dry skin (genetic) when it is really just dehydrated due to stress or medication (environmental). But I am getting ahead of myself. Here are the steps to finding your skin type.

1. Determine your genetic skin type. This is determined by pore size, the placement of pores on your face as well as the level and rate of oil production, says skin specialist Tara Parenti (Nakedpoppy.com) You can balance it and correct it somewhat through cleansing and moisturizing, but it is with you for good. If you have large pores, as I do, you can’t shrink the size, but you can minimize the appearance. To identify your genetic skin type, simply ask yourself two questions. What time of day do you see oil or shine? and where on your face are the pores larger?
2. Oily skin: if you notice oil or shine on your skin in the morning (or even two hours after you cleanse). Or if you see large pores on a majority of your face. Every skin type has its challenges. Oily skin can mean blackheads (congestion) and requires frequent exfoliation and astringent toners to reduce oil. Oils high in omega 3 and omega 6 fatty acids such as argan oil, jojoba oil, rosehip seed oil will help balance your skin’s excess oil production. No, you don’t need to use oil free products.
3. Combination skin: If your oil and shine picks up in the afternoon and larger pores are located in the T-zone (forehead, nose and chin). This is my skin type and the most common. Let your skin guide you here. If it seems dry, moisturize; if shinier than usual, use toner to balance oil. Your skin may change depending on weather, hormones or diet, so switch it up as needed. For example, I use a foaming cleanser and lightweight gel moisturizer in summer, and a milky, richer cleanser and medium weight moisturizer in winter.
4. Dry skin: If you have minimal oil and shine 24/7, as well as small, barely visible pores, your skin is dry. Dry skin means your skin lacks oil and your sebaceous glands are on the small side. What is confusing is that environmental factors such as sweat, makeup and oxidized sunscreen can masquerade as nighttime oil. Your skin will be happiest using a creamy or milky cleanser and a heavier moisturizer. My mom and my sister both had dry skin.
5. Sensitive skin: Three criteria determine if you have sensitive skin: a family history of eczema, asthma, or hay fever allergies. You have a tendency toward redness. You blush or burn easily. You are more prone to inflammatory skin conditions like eczema and rosacea. Avoid processed foods and synthetic fragrances in your products. For exfoliation, use gentle resurfacing ingredients like lactic acid enzymes rather than harsh physical scrubs. My daughter Jamie and grandson Jesse have sensitive skin.
6. Once you know your genetic skin type, we can look at environmental factors that influence your skin. Some are inevitable like aging. Others like dehydration are preventable. Dehydrated skin can occur with any genetic skin type. It means a lack of water; you are not getting or retaining enough water, whereas dry skin is a lack of oil. Dehydrated skin is tight, flaky, dry, may burn or itch and can worsen the look of fine lines and wrinkles. It can be caused by medication, the weather, air quality or overuse of exfoliation. Add hydrating ingredients such as hyaluronic acid and drink lots of water.
7. Sensitized skin: External factors like dry winter air or overwashing skin. This is moderate to extreme dehydration and can cause compromised barrier function. Suspend exfoliation and moisturize regularly
8. .Mature skin: sun exposure, fine lines and wrinkles, slowdown in cell turnover, loss of elasticity, hydration, fat volume and collagen. Yup, I’m there. Sunscreen can slow these changes and use of retinol and skincare high in antioxidants, like peptides and Vitamin C.
9. Hyperpigmentation: Dark spots or patches caused by sun damage, hormones, acne scarring which cause pigment producing cells to create abnormal amount of pigment. Gee, I’m there too. Try brightening ingredients like Vitamin C and kojic acid.
10. Hormonal acne: a/k/a adult acne. Thank goodness I am not there anymore. Influenced by hormones, diet and lifestyle. Usually inflammatory cystic acne which comes and goes.
11. As far as what products to choose for your specific skin type, there is a new line of products called Follain that QVC is selling 25% off. There are products for every skin type, and the prices are reasonable. It is part of their clean beauty offerings, and they are relatively inexpensive. For example, Follain Balancing Oil Control Cleanser is $16.50, as well as the Hydrating Cleanser. The face moisturizer and toning mist is $29.81 for the two pieces. You can try the products for quite awhile, and send them back if you are not happy, until January 31, 2021 with their holiday return policy.
12. To help my aging skin, I rely on vitamin c serum every morning under my sunscreen and switch between retinol and hyaluronic acid serum at night under my moisturizer. I just discovered a fairly new line of clean beauty at gopure.com. They have a special deal for under $40.00 you can try the retinol serum, vitamin c serum and hyaluronic acid serum. They have a bundle with the three serums, an eye gel and retinol moisturizer for under $70.00. This is amazing, as clean beauty is usually much more expensive. As you know, I do not receive any compensation for recommending any products. I love doing the research for you all! XO. Penny

“There are so many parts of Ginsburg’s life, career and character for us to learn from and be inspired by. The way she soldiered through the sexism and antisemitism that limited her early employment opportunities. How she balanced early motherhood and her young husband’s cancer diagnosis with acing Harvard Law School. The glorious, egalitarian, passionate partnership she shared with her husband Marty. The pioneering of feminist legal battles. The planks!” Jodi Ruderon

I can’t get Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg out of my mind ever since her untimely death on the Friday night of Rosh Hashanah, an auspicious time of year to die. She was a true “tsadik” which is a saintly or righteous person according to Jewish faith. A tsadik is kind of a spiritual superhero who does what is correct and just. Some say she had superhuman abilities to make the world a better place, while being the most human of humans.

Okay. You are nervous that I will now talk about her current potential replacement and espouse my views about a woman’s right to choose, court packing and dismantling the Affordable Care Act. Relax, I have no such plans. We all see enough of that on the media and I avoid talking politics in my blog posts. Whew, I am glad that is out of the way.

Ruth Bader Ginsburg made me think of my law school days. No, I am not comparing myself to Justice Ginsburg. Our only similarities are our birthplace in Brooklyn and our religion. I have been reflecting on why I went to law school in the first place and the entire experience.

Like Justice Ginsburg, I went to law school to change the world. Well, not exactly. I believe I attended law school at age 36 (with an 11 year old daughter and 9 year old son) for the following reasons:

1. I was a paralegal at the time and enjoyed being called “counselor” when I dropped off documents at the courthouse. How shallow, how dumb, how expensive, how un-Ginsburg-like.
2. To please my dad–I think that’s why I married my ex–I see a pattern here.
3. I loved the show LA Law which romanticized lawyering.
4. I felt strongly about immigrants and wanted to improve their lives–true!

Someone asked me recently if I enjoyed law school. It’s not really something to enjoy, especially when you have a family that still expected dinner on the table and your attendance at their baseball games. I remember sitting in the bleachers watching games, nervously looking at my watch, thinking about all the cases waiting to be briefed later that night–pressure!

Remember the movie and tv show “The Paper Chase”, where Harvard law students were put on the hot seat and questioned unmercifully by mean Professor Kingsfield in front of the class, in order to prepare them for unforgiving judges.

Well, guess who was one of the targets of this behavior on the part of Professor Weinstein in Torts, first semester of first year. You got it–Ms. Bleyer. Weinstein victimized only the older women and many ran out of the class in tears. I, on the other hand, told him to move on after relentless questioning on a case, telling Professor Weinstein that my mind was blank. The professor wrote on the board the following BMS with a circle around it and a cross through it. (Reminiscent of PMS). He stated “Ms. Bleyer has Blank Mind Syndrome”. After I was mortified, he moved on to another female victim. Second semester, I wowed him with my knowledge of master/servant relationship, but I never forgot that experience.

Years two to four were better and I was even chosen for the Constitutional Law Award. Even more important, I met my best friend Livia, the first day of law school and we survived that together and so much more since we graduated and passed the NYS Bar in 1990. That friendship was worth all the stress and worry.

Rest in peace, Justice Ginsburg. I will keep you in my head and heart always and follow your words:

“Fight for the things you care about, but do it in a way that will lead others to join you”. XO Penny

“Forgiveness sets you free. It releases you from the constraints of past wounds. When you forgive, you refuse to let the darkness into your soul. This helps you make space for love.” Margaret Manning

My ex-husband was in NY visiting my children and grandson this past week from Arizona. Those of you who follow my blog know a bit about George from my posts. Not all of it is positive. But I have to admit, I enjoyed spending time with all of them and my children commented on how nice it was for them now that we get along. I never thought that would happen!

Married for thirty-two years and divorced since 2003, I held anger and resentment for too long–about finances, dishonesty and infidelity–you know the drill. I never thought I could let it all go.

But two life events happened that helped me to forgive. We had a grandson in 2010 who we both cherish, and my son’s illness in 2017. George was here when my son was hospitalized during that entire period. We leaned on each other and had a common goal. I forgot about the past hurts and resentment. Life’s calamities will do that to you.

What is forgiveness and why is it so important? Forgiveness is about goodness, about extending mercy to those who have harmed us, even if they don’t deserve it. It’s not about finding excuses for the offending person’s behavior or pretending it didn’t happen. Nor is there a quick formula you can follow. Forgiveness is a process with many steps and often proceeds in a non-linear fashion.

In “Eight Keys to Forgiveness”, the author Robert Enright talks about “becoming forgivingly fit” or building up your forgiving heart muscle slowly incorporating regular “workouts” into your everyday life. Make a conscious effort not to talk disparagingly about those who have hurt you. (That’s a tough one)! If you refrain from talking negatively, it will feed the more forgiving side of your mind and heart.

Similarly, Dr. Tyler VanderWeele at Harvard School of Public Health advises practicing small acts in everyday life to get more comfortable with forgiveness. For example, if someone cuts you off in traffic or is rude, use the moment to recognize it wasn’t directed at you personally and forgive him/her on the spot. This way you can learn to immediately stop negative reactions and feelings that come with it.

Why is it so difficult for some to forgive? Sometimes the negative feelings we hold for others become part of our personal history. We can’t let them go because they are part of us.

Likewise, negative deeds of others can become excuses we use to explain why our lives ended up a certain way. Forgiving others requires us to take responsibility for our own lives again, which can be difficult.

Forgive for your own good. Harboring anger and resentment leads the body to release stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline whenever the offending person comes to mind. A steady stream of those chemicals can lead to stress, anxiety, depression, dampen creativity and problem solving along with physical ailments.

Forgiveness helps us grow as a person as we exercise goodness, increasing self esteem and helps us heal and move on in life with meaning and purpose. In addition to personal benefits, modeling forgiveness for others may lead to intergenerational and even societal improvements. And God knows, we need some of that right now!

Mahatma Gandhi said “the weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is an attribute of the strong”.

From The Heart of the Matter by Don Henley

There are people in your life who’ve come and gone. They let you down. You know they’ve hurt your pride. You better put it all behind you baby, cause life goes on. You keep carrying that anger, it’ll eat you up inside baby….

I’ve been trying to get down to the heart of the matter, but everything changes and my friends seem to scatter. But I think it’s about forgiveness, forgiveness, even if you don’t love me anymore!