Mirror, Mirror on the Wall

“They want to sell us pills and potions. So they tell us that our wrinkles are imperfections, our skin is sagging, and that our bodies are weak. You are beautiful because you have lived! You have had a bold life and experienced the depth of your own soul. You are beautiful not for your age, but because of your age.” Margaret Manning, Aging Beautifully cards

Beware of young, tall, dark and handsome Israeli men who accost you in the mall, asking for five minutes of your time to “transform you and change your life”. It happened to me recently on a day when I was feeling particularly old and unattractive. I guess we all have those days. I was coming out of Sephora, having just returned a foundation, that I did not need (which was touted for smoothing out wrinkles and diminishing pores).

“You are attractive for your age, but my eye serum can make you look ten years younger.” Before and after pictures of older women who had tried the product appeared on Ari’s cell phone. I gave in to his pressure (and his good looks), and allowed him to apply the magic serum to one eye. After explaining that I was retired, on a fixed income and had no money for beauty products, Ari began to ooh and aah. “I have never seen such flexible skin; never have I experienced this fabulous result on a woman before”, he exclaimed. How much did this miracle product cost? Only $750.00, but he could sell it to me for $350.00; he finally reduced it to $200.00 because I was Jewish and had been to Israel. He admonished me to not tell a soul because he would get fired.

I can’t believe I bought it—all of it, the flattery, the lies and the product. Of course it came with a free wrinkle reducing treatment in their spa worth millions of dollars. I exaggerate, of course. Ari was better than the worst car salesman, knowing how to get to me with his charm and false promises. When he walked me into the spa, there were two older women probably being talked into expensive spa packages by equally handsome young men. This got me to thinking…..Why are we obsessed with looking younger and how much do these creams and potions really work anyway?

It seems every other magazine ad for skincare products claims to have found the fountain of youth–as far as wrinkles are concerned. And if you are concerned about signs of aging, you are probably willing to try anything that promises to keep your skin young, firm and glowing. Sound too good to be true? Claims made by over the counter skincare products probably are, because products like moisturizers, night creams with supposed anti-aging properties are cosmetics, not drugs and their marketing claims are not held to a high level of scrutiny. Moisturizers only give a transient effect of wrinkle reduction, by plumping up the skin; they do not repair damage.

For damage that is already visible (like wrinkles and brown spots), dermatologists agree that retinoids (prescription strength) and retinols (lower in dosage and available over the counter) are the products most reliably proven to be effective in undoing skin aging.

And all derms agree that the best proven anti-aging treatment is sunscreen, your best bet to prevent sun damage which can cause or worsen signs of aging before it happens. (See my earlier blog on Mineral v. Chemical Sunscreen).

The Food and Drug Administration has been taking on the beauty industry and some of the over-the-top claims being made for some of their products. For example, a warning letter was sent to Strivectin whose wrinkle creams are sold at retailers from Costco to Nordstrom. The language the FDA objects to? “Clinically proven to change the anatomy of wrinkles. Potent elastin stimulating peptides help enhance skin structure”.

The FDA objects to the fact that claims on their website indicate the products are intended to affect the structure of the human body rendering them drugs. In response, Strivectin changed the wording on its website.

Further researching this topic, I came across an aesthetic called Wabi Sabi, a Japanese concept that celebrates the beauty of imperfection, especially as it relates to the changes experienced with the passage of time. It is the opposite of trying too hard and it is understanding the power and seduction of imperfection, a profound reminder that beauty is best found in its least complex form.

I love this and intend to make Wabi Sabi my new affirmation the next time I look in the mirror and see the changes caused by the years. I will focus on my life experience and how blessed I am to be seventy years of age! And the fact that my boyfriend thinks I am beautiful.

I have some exciting news! I have decided to write a book and am in the beginning stages. I received a lot of interest from my blog The Perils and Pluses of Online Dating and am expanding on this. The book is entitled My Life in Dating After Fifty: A Cautionary Tale. It is a memoir of sorts, and not a how to book, but rather a what not to do. I will keep you all posted! XOXO Penny

Resources

Toss the Gloss: Beauty Tips, Tricks and Truths for Women 50+, by Andrea Q. Robinson

Are Anti-Aging Products Worth Buying? www.insider.com

Does Your Wrinkle Cream Really Work? www.today.com