Reflections on Motherhood

“Motherhood is a choice you make everyday to put someone else’s happiness ahead of your own, to teach the hard lessons, to do the right thing even when you are not sure what the right thing is and to forgive yourself over and over again for doing everything wrong.”

Dear Jamie and Keith,

I am thinking about Mother’s Day differently this year. Instead of wanting to be appreciated for being a good mom, I feel totally appreciative to have had the opportunity to be your mom. Maybe the change came about because of the uncertain and scary times we are going through, or maybe it is my age, or maybe just because……

I love a thoughtful gift, or when you send me flowers, or wash my car, or make me a special dinner. But I love being your mother most of all.

I can’t think of anything else in my life that compares to the joy I have felt as your mom. The job is a labor of love and has grown and shaped me in ways I never could have imagined. Being a mother to you two has taught me strengths I didn’t know I had and how to deal with fears I didn’t know existed.

Like most moms, I gave my all to mothering, even though I felt unprepared and clueless. I did promise myself early on not to repeat two things that my mother had done, and I hope I was successful in carrying out this promise.

I vowed to always apologize to you when I was wrong or made a mistake. My mother never ever said she was sorry to my sister and I when we were growing up, and this left a huge impact on us both. (She finally did apologize at age 92 for giving away our beloved bulldog puppy when we were 7).

In addition, I promised to be a good communicator and never stop talking to you, even when angry. My mother was notorious for slamming drawers and cabinets (so that you knew she was upset about something) for weeks on end and refused to tell you why. You got the silent treatment e.g. no conversation, which was extremely anxiety producing, to say the least.

In fact, I cherish the open communication we have as you have both grown into good, kind, ethical responsible adults. I see the open, loving communication, Jamie that you have with Jesse, which makes me proud and happy. You are a wonderful mother.

Being a mother brings you strength, resolve and resiliency, all especially needed in a world such as the one we face today. It has taught me the power of prayer and positivity. I never stopped praying and believing that you Jamie and your family would return from California to live in New York (even after 15 years). I never stopped praying and believing that you Keith would return to good health after your ordeal and both my prayers were answered.

Today, on Mother’s Day, I thank you for the tremendous gift and honor of being your mother. I cherish my relationship with both of you and could not imagine a life without you in it!

Love,

Mom

Happy Mother’s Day to all!