What is Your Happy Place?

“Water is a teacher, a healer, a mirror. The turbulence of the world, the calm of your soul, the river of life moving through you.”

“When I sit here by the sea and listen to the sound of the waves, I feel free from all obligations and people of the world.” Henry Thoreau

The water is my happy place, be it the ocean, a lake or pool. I grew up near Atlantic Beach and spent idyllic summers in the ocean, jumping the waves with my twin sister, mom and dad.

We would be ravenous after all that exercise and fresh air and my dad would pack enormous lunches enough to feed any who were hungry. There would be egg salad with olives and dill, tuna salad with chopped onion and celery or deli sandwiches on fresh twisted challah rolls and pumpernickel. Most of my memories involve food, of course. Always the foodie.

When we married, George and I rented an apartment in Long Beach, overlooking the beach. As a new inexperienced (and nervous) mother, I would stroll on the boardwalk with newborn Jamie to calm myself. The ocean always performed its magic for me. The sound of the waves and the squawking of the seagulls always brought me a sense of peace and contentedness.

Later, after Keith was born, we would spend at least one week every summer in Naples Maine, where George had gone to summer camp as a child. We rented a cabin and swam every day in Long Lake, a beautiful, scenic but chilly lake that provided endless hours of joy and fun. Years later, when studying for the NYS Bar Exam, I would picture the serene lake and me sitting on the dock to relieve the stress I was experiencing.

Food memories come back from those trips to Maine–warm, freshly made cinnamon donuts and delicious hot coffee in the morning and steamed lobster nightly at the lobster pound, so messy that you had to be hosed down at the end of dinner along with your plastic table cloth! In addition, homemade coffee ice cream from Sandy’s Flight Deck, a restaurant that also offered seaplane rides to excited children.

Swimming has always been my exercise of choice (after Zumba and salsa dancing). I was a confident swimmer and the pool was my place to work out and destress. I consistently swam laps and to this day try and swim for an hour daily, weather permitting.

“She loves the serene brutality of the ocean, loves the electric power she feels with each breath of wet, briny air.” Holly Blake, “Tithe”

Why do we love the water so? What does the beach do to our brain? Research finds that spending time by the ocean is good for your well being. In fact, according to data published in the journal “Health Place”, those who live by the coast report better physical and mental health than those who don’t. Participants who live in homes with ocean views report feeling calmer than those who don’t. No wonder Hawaii has earned “happiest US state ranking six times since 2008.

How does the beach boost your mood?

1. The color blue is found to be associated with feelings of calm and peace. Staring at the ocean changes our brain waves frequency and puts us in a mild meditative state.
2. The ebbing and flowing of the waves de-stimulates our brain. The noises and visuals activates our parasympathetic nervous system and allows us to feel more relaxed and engaged.
3. The smell of the ocean breeze contributes to our soothed state which relates to negative ions in the air.
4. Touching the warm sand causes us to relax.
5. To stay in the zone while at the beach, we need to exercise mindfulness (no Instagram or texting), close your eyes and listen to the ocean waves rolling in and out. Be aware of your senses…..focus on what it feels like to have your feet in the sand, breathe deeply and smell the ocean air.

For me too, looking out at the water reminds me of how small I am and how inconsequential my problems are in comparison to the ocean’s vastness. It helps me put life in perspective and stay in the moment.

“Have you also learned that secret from the river; that there is no such thing as time? That the river is everywhere at the same time, at the source, at the mouth, at the waterfall, at the ferry, at the current, in the ocean and in the mountains everywhere and that the present only exists for it, not the shadow of the past, nor the shadow of the future.” Hermann Hesse, “Siddhartha”