I Hope You Dance

I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean; whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens; promise me that you’ll give faith a fighting chance… and when you get the choice to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance…I hope you dance… from I Hope You Dance, by Lee Ann Womack

The recurring theme of the lyrics is that when faced with the choice of dancing (giving something new a try or staying stuck where you are, choose to dance). It’s a beautiful metaphor and the lyrics are inspirational. It also makes you think about the people you love in your life and their choices.

For me, the literal meaning resonates because dancing was such a part of my life growing up and it connects me to my mom, dad and twin sister who are no longer here. My parents loved to dance and were always on the dance floor together. Jill and I danced together from elementary school on. We watched Dick Clark’s American Bandstand every afternoon after school and knew all the regulars (Carmen Jimenez and Franny Giordano to name a few). I was taller than Jill and I would lead. Expert at the lindy, we would win all the dance contests at birthday parties. “It’s not fair; they practice together at home” everyone would complain. We loved it and felt lucky to be twins.

When my sister was busy, I would practice my moves with the refrigerator. My mom would say I did this on purpose always at dinner time to avoid clearing the table or doing the dishes.

As a shy child lacking self confidence, dancing was something I was good at. I could move with ease and let go of any self consciousness I felt in my everyday life.

When I began my work life as a young adult, dancing was an ice breaker at work events. Always the consummate professional at work, I was able to show another side of my personality when dancing. My adult ESL students were thrilled when I was able to learn the salsa and Cumbia and even complimented my hip action (for a non-Latina).

I recently read a book entitled Goddesses Never Age, The Secret Prescription for Radiance, Vitality and Well Being, by Dr. Christiane Northrup and was interested in her fascination with dance. She was afraid to dance earlier in life, but at age 50 decided to learn Argentine Tango and describes how it changed her life:

“I watched a couple dancing the Argentine Tango in close embrace. The dance was so sensual, so moving that it called to me. My heart said that is what I want to do”. She described showing up for her first lesson as a clumsy beginner as much harder than medical school had ever been. She continues urging us on by saying “how many of us have held back from trying something our hearts called us to do fearing that we would be laughed at or shamed.” She admonishes us to resist this urge to sit it out and dance.

I can well relate to Dr. Northrup’s experience. After I divorced at age 52, I signed up for private dance lessons at Arthur Murray, despite my total nervousness. As she described (and I similarly felt) “I had a desire to feel this romantic dance in my mind, body and spirit. I wanted to feel the thrill of surrendering to the lead of a skillful man and for my body to know how to express the way the music felt inside me”

After much practice, my dance instructor James and I performed a rhumba and a cha cha at a local dance event. My friends and sister and brother in law were in the audience cheering me on. Perfect!

If your heart is calling you to try something new, don’t put it off. My sister Jill decided at age 50 to take vocal lessons. She loved the lessons, had an excellent voice and she and her vocal coach began doing gigs at local restaurants. They called themselves Aries 19 (all of us were born on April 19th). I even performed with them (after a lot of wine). My sister loved this part of her life, and of course had no idea that she would succumb to cancer at age 59.

I plan to continue dancing forever. Maybe I will sign up for more lessons. Or take up Tai Chi.

Inside each of us is a beautiful ballerina just waiting to get out. So help her on to the stage. Try new things, stay active, explore, sing dance and play…..Margaret Manning, Aging Beautifully

Resources

Goddesses Never Age by Dr. Christiane Northrup

I Hope You Dance by Lee Ann Womack

Aging Beautifully Cards by Margaret Manning